Early Thirties

Sitting in an unshaded bar with a new found reason to breathe.
It isn’t that it’s not what it is- but more like it’s far beyond my reasoning.
The sun beats down, and I’m feeling alive,
but for how long is that to ring true?
A mass that needs to get cut out of my body… one so that I can-
Walk down to the next bar.
Looking for the next smooth feeling of comfort.
A glance, a look of acknowledgment.
No failure, I exist alone in this reality.
Onto the next bar.
Feigning my way through human interactions.
Violent images persuade my self-indulgence.
But I persist, I allow little to no…
…

Reason for meaning.