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Apathy, Chapter 18 Swaying Dicks

March 20, 2019

Hot water… how I missed hot water! My skin wasn’t thick, nor was it sticky! I felt myself again… the water drizzled and the steam floated around me. I wanted to be here forever! Daisy had handed me a few pads, a thick ass towel, and the license to stay in the shower for as long as I wanted.


“That’s Daisy, huh?” The much whiter version of her name asked as the less whiter version of her name closed the bathroom door behind her.

“That’s Daisy, she looks like her mother…” Albert said with his head swaying down a little.

“She’s a beautiful girl, I’m glad for you Albert.”

Jim and Ronnie had left the two alone so that they could argue about the lack of medication that Jim had returned with.

“H-h-how’ve you been?” Albert, still as dirty as sin, asked with a boyish charm.

“I’m OK. Just been so cold lately.”

“Cold?”

“Yeah, I know, let’s not talk about that, tell me about your life?”

“I want to know about yours? What has happened since I left? What-”

“Al…”

“I want to know, how’d-”

“I don’t know what you want to hear, but it’s hard. Life has been hard, and I feel stuck. That’s it. I am not poor, but any money I have hadn’t helped a bit in this whole thing…”

“Cancer is-”

“It’s a bitch, and it sucks to be alone in it.”

“You pushed me away, what was I supposed to do?”

“Fight me on it! I wanted to give you the option to leave, and when you did, I felt… like I had made a huge mistake. That you left so, you can start drinking again and all that shit!”

“I told you for months that I wanted to stay with you. I love you!”

“Some love, go off and replace me oh so easily.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Nothing had been fair! Think I want this!? Think I want to be looked at like I’m riddled with cancer? To feel like I’m a ticking clock! Waiting for my death to deliver these people I call friends relief!?”

“I’m sorry I left and that you feel that way, but I just want to know that you’re alright. I know that at any point there’s a phone call if something were to happen, but for that… the time when that was not possible, I had to know. So, I came here to find out. Not to bury you, not to get you back in my life, but as respect for the magnitude of change that you had done for me in my life. I’m glad you’re fine, and I’m sorry I left, but that’s not the point now, and that was a long time ago.”

“So, now that you know that I’m not dead you can go back to your life preparing for my death. Cool, thanks!”

“Daisy, that’s not it.”

“I know. I’m just mad. Like I said she’s beautiful, and I’m sorry about your wife.”

“Thank you, I think you would have liked her.”

“Don’t push it…”

“And my son.”

“You named him Paul, I heard through the-”

“He was murdered a few months ago.”

Daisy stood quiet, she looked at Albert and saw the pain in his eyes and said, “I can’t imagine…”

“It’s fine, all I have left is Daisy, and we’re trying, and she’s been more supportive than I ever expected. She is literally, just like her mother.”

Just then Jim burst through the front door and asked Daisy, “Is it better getting your medication? Or take you to chemo? I mean, if you can, then you should, right?!”

Daisy yelped, “What!?”

“You used to go-”

“Guys, don’t decide my life for me! I feel OK, I just need my medication.”

Ronnie slapped Jim’s shoulder and said, “See, I told you.”

Albert asked, “You don’t need to go to the hospital? I mean at all for any reason?”

Offended, Daisy yelled, “Hell no!”

“Shit, Jim? Should we head out?” Albert, just as dirty as he was before, patted his belongings in his pockets and then said, “You don’t know what it was like out there.”

Life had been just as it was in the mountain, but down with the populace it wasn’t the case, and Ronnie understood before he finished asking, “How had it been?”

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