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Apathy, Chapter 10 His Dick

December 2, 2018

I didn’t realize that he said, “Stay here,” when my Dad started running towards the house. I didn’t hear him, because once I saw him leave me, I realized that I was a target on the street. Standing there with two bikes, a shit ton of wood, some lighters, beer, and a hot bod… I think so anyway.


Albert got to the front door and peered into the window. He had seen a figure in his window on the second floor, but there didn’t seem to be anyone on the first. So, he slowly unlocked the front door and crept in. As the door slowly shut, he could hear scuffles above him of the burglar’s feet. Albert took off his shoes and looked around the house for a weapon. Having gone through the house several times, Albert had a good sense of what was valuable, and he knew that whatever the burglar would find valuable would be in his room, so he grabbed a baseball bat and quietly scurried up the stairs.

When the burglar said, “Holy fucking shit!” Albert knew that it was now or never. He kicked opened the door and started to swing, but the burglar was clear across the room. He pulled out a gun and Albert went running back into the hallway.

“That shit ain’t valuable anymore!” Albert yelled as he crept into his son’s room.

“Shit it ain’t, I sure as hell ain’t gonna leave it here, so fuck you.” Albert could hear himself getting robbed.

“That thing work?”

“My dick?”

Albert thought the word, fag, right before he charged back into the room. He didn’t waste any time and threw the bat right at the burglar’s head. At this moment he ran as fast as he could into the burglar and tackled him into the window that shattered on impact.

Albert thought he heard Daisy say, “Get the fuck away from me,” when he kicked the gun under his bed. He was able to get the burglar in a headlock when he felt it apropos to jab the man as hard as he could in the kidney.

The kid started to whine when Albert whispered in his ear, he said, “You’re not leaving this house alive, you son of a bitch.”

“I won’t tell anyone about the-”

Albert said, “I know you won’t,” as the burglar lost oxygen and passed out. Once he knew that he was unconscious, he took a look outside and saw a strange man talking to Daisy. Albert retrieved the gun, put it in the back of his pants, and stormed outside to his daughter.

Albert didn’t realize that all the buttons of his shirt had ripped off in the struggle when he approached outside he was shoeless with an opened shirt that exposed his belly that was barely covered by a wifebeater. “Everything OK?” He asked as he quickly lessened the distance between him and his daughter.

The strange man said, “Whoa, everything’s fine, man.”

“Get inside,” Albert ordered as he took a good hard look at the stranger. “You were just leaving?”

“I have my right to be here, just like you.”

Albert glanced at his daughter as she fled to the house walking both bikes. She had a feeling that it be best to take the two into the garage.

“I don’t give a fuck about rights right now, just get the fuck out of my neighborhood. I mean now.”

“Back up,” the stranger said with a smirk as he revealed a gun handle sticking out of the top of his pants.

Albert smiled, said, “Oh?” and pulled out his gun and shot the fucker in the middle of his forehead. He snatched the gun out of the stranger’s pants before the kid hit the ground and ran to his home.

Albert shut the door behind him and locked it quickly, he took a peek out of the window, and there seemed to be no activity outside. He then ran to the garage and turned on the light.

“What the fuck was that Dad!?” Daisy whimpered.

Albert shushed her and said, “It’s nothing, here.” He handed her a gun and said, “This shit is worse than I thought, but we need the twine from the wood.”

“I dunno, a gun? The fuck!?”

“I need the goddamn twine now, hon! We can talk later, I need that now!” He whispered/yell.


Albert thought about how thankful he was that the house was lockpicked rather than just broken into. He was able to lock the house down and drag the body into the basement, where he tied him up to a beam that sat in the middle of the room. Boxes were everywhere.

The burglar started to wake up when Albert started to laugh, he said, “Oh, you’re in for it. You fuck!”

“Wha?”

At this point, the neighborhood watch was barely hitting their second topic.

“I told you that you weren’t going to leave this place alive, and I might be willing to negotiate that, but first I want you to know that I am the one that will allow you to live. Is that understood?”

“HELP!”

“Nobody can hear you, this is technically my safe-room.” Albert laughed and continued, “I’m going to kill your right knee, ok? And after I do that you will still owe me, so I might have to shoot a foot or something. Seeing that you broke into my house to steal from me and now know where I actually keep my money. So, here’s the knee.” A shot rang out loud in the room, which did not permeate the walls, and the man screamed. Then he cried when Albert shot his right foot. The burglar felt loose digits in his shoes and went into shock. “I figured you’d freak out, so I’ll just put you out of your misery.” He pointed the gun at the burglar’s head and waited a full minute.

The burglar tried to say something, but nothing would come out. After that minute he said, “Please.”

“Please what?”

The burglar struggled, “Don’t kill me.”

“Not particularly poignant, why shouldn’t I?”

“I just wanted to make some money…”

Albert said, “Dumbshit,” under his breath as he pulled the trigger shooting the kid in the head. Albert went back upstairs and glanced out of the window. It was dark, and nobody discovered the body.

“What do we do now Dad?”

“We’re leaving in the morning. We probably won’t come back. I have a lot of money in my room and it’ll either keep us safe or kill us, but we’ve got to hide it in our luggage, somehow.”

“Why’d we barter that stuff to begin with if we had money?”

“The money will only dwindle, honey, who knows how far it’ll take us before we end up getting violent ourselves.”

“Fuck…”

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