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Apathy, Chapter 3 Homophobe

September 21, 2018

The screams weren’t just from me, they were from both Brandy and Cindy. I hadn’t seen them in a few weeks, and we were all excited to hate on each other. I heard Cindy mention a few sounds that mentioned the idea of a hot triste in the Bahamas or where ever the fuck she was. Brandy was all about telling us both about some other bullshit that I did not give two shits about, I’m hungover, tired, and uninterested. They seemed to understand life better than I do, and they enjoyed it like a cult leader on a bender. Fuck the women, fuck the men… I think they were in the fuck the men phase. Let’s not mess around with clits, they are too complicated.

It’s weird seeing men and women stand in front of a stark raving weirdo yell about religion nowadays. I don’t get it. I had this thought prominent in my mind when-

“What have you been up to!? I heard you were going to school…” Brandy yelled like that stark raving fucking weirdo.

“I don’t know what-“

Cindy then said, “Ugh, I’d never be caught at school now. They say we’ve got like 25 to 50 years… can you imagine being 41 years old?”

“They said that some time ago,” I said to deaf ears.

“I hear Tommy’s got a party this weekend,” Brandy said to my frustration.

“Tommy’s so cute, I’d fuck his Dad… just sayin’,” Cindy the slut said.

“I thought we’d just hang, the girls. We hadn’t done anything together for the last-”

“I’d let Tommy’s Dad cum inside of me,” Brandy said for no reason but to cut me off.

Then the thought of my brother entered the two shittiest people’s minds, and I saw it, and I saw it left when Cindy looked at Brandy.

They said, “What a shame.”

I’ve never hated two motherfucking cunts more than I could right now! Why are these people, my friends?

“Did you talk to Marco during the time… uh… alone?” Cindy asked.

“He’s off with his uncles.”

“He’s got his moments, one time he told me that I was stupid because I want to be a Disney Princess as a career,” Brandy said with so much gusto that I think I could choke her with it.

I hate these people…


Operation Ivy’s song Unity played right before the song Vulnerability. The event ate up Malcolm, and he felt that he was deserving of more. He couldn’t just stand by and… he didn’t know what he wanted, but he felt that he was lacking in life. He wanted to hang himself so badly, but he just felt one or two actions away from that conclusion. He hated so much, but this music drew together people together, and he didn’t understand why another human would ever want to be…


Albert sat down at another meeting and looked at the onlookers that noticed his presence. He looked down at his hands and saw nothing special, just a couple of black hands with nothing to regard to his own situation. He’d think several questions of dissatisfaction, but he’d be absolutely right, and that wasn’t what he wanted. He knew that he wanted to talk to one specific person, but that felt so impossible. His wife was long dead, and the one after her was long dead too. He wanted reason, he wanted definition, and he wanted to hurt the person that hurt him, but that’s impossible. God doesn’t live to answer our questions, he doesn’t exist to make it more complicated- he does so to make it just out of reach.


Then Cindy did the most fucking confusing thing I’ve ever…

She put her hand on my pussy. Brandy had left, and she said something to the extent of, I felt a dick, and I don’t know if I like it, but this… I was…

OH!

It felt nice… I mean, I’m sure a-

I do like… no!

“I’m a virgin…”

“Want me to pop-”

“NO!” She almost just did it… Why would anyone just… my hymen.

“Fine prude…”

“It’s not me! I’m not… I mean it’s different, and I’m attracted to men.”

“Fine, be a homophobe. I just wanted to try something, don’t make me feel like I’m a fucking freak. I just wanted to experiment!” She left, but I get it. I’m not a lesbian. I did think that it felt nice, but… that’s not my cup of tea… funny to think that she’d not speak to me again because I didn’t put out. What a fucking dude. After I saw her, she left with her parents to another fucking resort. They got money, so I get it, but how can you experience life outside of your own life? Seems frivolous.

God, why couldn’t I have been a lesbian? I could have gone on vacation to vacation with that forceful resentful fucking cunt… I’m better without her in my life. I think…

Fuck, I just don’t know, why are things so complicated? Fuck sex! It makes people act so fucking retarded!

The thoughts of what she said and how she made me feel so incompetent and hateful… I want to strangle her, but not that she’s gay, but because she’s a fucking shitty ass person and bitch on top of that!

I just feel small, and I feel like it’s my fault that she’s gone and that she’ll never come back and be my friend.

Fuck me…

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