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Apathy, Chapter 2 Sloppy and Slick

September 8, 2018

Albert sat down. The room was full of rough looking faces, and they were only sympathetic. It had been a few days, and the tears still found themselves down his cheeks. An empathetic voice in the back suggested the looming symbol of salvation that sat in the sky spiraling down to Earth as an invitation to be reunited with his son again. Albert wasn’t listening, all he had left was Daisy, and she had been pulling away from him lately.

“Can I say something?” A bearded man named Greg asked with his hand in the air.

The proctor responded with, “There’s only a minute or so designated for-”

“OK, fine… don’t do crack!” the bearded man said with a smile.

“That’s N.A.!”

Albert laughed a minute through his tears. He felt his life slowly drip away in front of him. Step by step of his childhood. His children’s childhood. Paul’s first steps. Daisy’s birth. First birthday. Each another reminder of all of their deaths. A reminder that Daisy will never have a normal life and a reminder of his son Paul who’ll never get a gray hair on his head. A worry about money or his first child. All of a sudden it was gone, potential died, and he felt his heart sink. It slowly pulled his chest into his pelvis. 

He felt his strain, his eyes stung, and he felt drunk. Thank God Sherry had died before her son was so violently taken away from them. He felt a strobe of life exist and cease interchangeably as he found his way to his car. This spot, where he existed in, was a first. A first in time and place in this projectile that we call Earth. He looked to the sky and back to the ground. There’s no such thing as reason. He felt it just like how he felt that there was no God. Just an idea of infinite.

He felt his promise to his wife as she laid a mere moments before death dissolve. He didn’t need a drink, nor did he necessarily want one, but he knew that he was going to get one… some.

Jesus Christ Dad, I can’t have a cathartic day without something to remind me that shit is all fucked!? And of all things, you lay there in those ridiculous plaid pants? My Dad the hipster, ugh. I don’t know if he had fallen down and passed out or what, but that can’t be comfortable. As I tried to pick him up I could smell the drank, Arrogant Bastard is so disgusting. After several minutes of trying to help, I had to give up. This is fucked.

No food in the refrigerator, just beer. Arrogant Bastards and Bud Lights. Fuck it, I’ll take a Bud Light… Lights and go back to my room. I’m already dead inside, so let’s just see how I’ll feel once I get a couple inside of me.

Several drinks later my…

I could have sworn…

Marco? What?


My Dad.

As I woke up, I saw my text messages and… well… I called Marco. A twenty-seven-minute call… and not worth my time? Instead, I get sloppy and slick I call him. What’s wrong with me?

As I left for school, I’m already 3 hours late, I notice that Dad had moved- not far. Still passed out. I hope this isn’t a normal thing.

The streets are empty, at night it feels like Mardi Gras, but during the day the world nurses its hangover. It’s hard to sleep sometimes because you can hear the carnage in the streets. Cheering, yelling, car alarms, and sirens. Police have their hands full, and here I am living one day at a time watching the world collapse beneath itself as it believes that the world is going to end. My world isn’t gone yet, dammit.

When Albert emerged from his stupor, a song fumbled around in his mind, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was, however, he felt the presence of his wife- she was watching him. Her particles of skin, hair, and a toenail or two are lost in the corners of the living room and that seemed good enough to feel her presence. When he put his finger on the song being Metallica’s Fade to Black, he was reminded of a memory.

The testscame back and it was indeed cancer. That threw Albert into another memory. The tests came back and it was indeed cancer. He sat next to Daisy, his ex-fiance, and stared at the tests. Her eyes were shaking back and forth as she read the results. Nothing was anything at that time. She felt her life shrivel like she had experienced with her father so many years ago. The tragic nature of tragedy is just so sad… almost tragic. She began to distance herself from Albert. She pushed him away and he desperately tried to rekindle whatever they had before, but she refused to let him watch her die.

That’s when he began to drink again.

Fast forward several years and here he was again, but this time he watched his wife shrivel and he watched her die. Promising not to drink when she passed. He had done that, but he vowed never to- you don’t know how you will react when you lose a child.

The presence he felt wasn’t anger, but love. He didn’t feel like he had done anything wrong, but this time he knew that he couldn’t maintain this payment plan to death. So, he cleaned and went for a walk.

It was a pleasant day, weatherwise, but other than that people were as terrible and selfish as they had always. Albert missed his little mountainside house where he used to live with Daisy, his ex-fiance.

From → Apathy

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