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Apathy, Chapter 1 Laying in the Grass

September 2, 2018

An engine turned over as the headlights glared at Paul who was stepping outside to light a cigarette and grab a notepad from his car. The ignition sounded like the drum introduction to Third Eye Blind’s Semi-Charmed Life. So, the song struggled into the essence of his mind.

The little bar’s heavy door slowly slammed shut behind him as he walked away. The store outlet’s parking lot was full earlier, and with such Paul’s Plymouth Voyager was plenty far away. He walked passed a Chinese restaurant that took pride in their lack of English characters on their menu, a carniceria that had the best salsa this side of nowhere, and a place called 94 cent video that rented DVDs for $2.50. The song rang in and out as he sang along. It even gave him a kick in his step. Paul was too prideful about his dancing ability- everybody saw past his superciliousness. 

The night was cold in comparison to the sweltering heat of the day, which led Paul to find himself in said bar. He had a class to go to, but he decided against it for obvious cosmic reasons. His father had given him a twenty, which wasn’t enough for how much he wanted to drink, but it’ll do. He even thought about possibly doing a little bartending work to pay for the rest of his high. As long as Liz was working, but she had the day off, and Paul cursed the day.

Paul thought to himself that the area used to be nice, but they ruined it. As he wondered to his van, he noted all the Asian characters that surrounded him. Pho Palace used to be a Taco Bell, but they came and gobbled it up. Same with the KFC by his house. It’s called Kitchen Dinner, Paul saw the change and immediately said, “The fuck!?” He thought about better places to live and wondered if they’d follow. If he should head out towards Fullerton or Santa Ana, where the whites were evacuating, maybe they’d just follow. Perhaps it’ll be smart to go to where the whites are escaping to- like Arizona or Colorado. Most people work from home now, don’t they?

The song still engulfed his existence as he sang along to the only word that he knew. The sliding door flew open. He scuffled into his backpack and found his pocket-sized Five Star notebook. After inspecting every pouch, a powerful thought came to mind, “Do I not have a pen?”

Right before the .22 caliber pebble flew through Paul’s mind the words, “Sup, nigga,” was uttered in the most malicious of tone. Blood appeared everywhere as his existence changed in the most natural of ways. The best way that Paul could have possibly described the feeling would have been Earthy. Life settled, and his particles just let go, they still remained as a solid, but for how long?


Shit rains in threes. First was the school shooter that shot my best friend Katia in the elbow. The second account of shit happened when they told me that my brother was murdered. Third? The third is kind of universal.

There just always seems to be something, and as it would turn out the world as we know it is fucked. Comet, asteroid, meteor… I don’t give a shit what it is, all I know is that the thing in the goddamn sky was supposed to miss Earth, not get in orbit with it!

The news, well they’ve might as well have called it God, because they can’t stop talking bullshit about it. They’re searching for answers to questions that nobody asked. It’s fucking useless. Will it hit the moon? Will it eventually come down to Earth and usher a brand new age of who gives a fuck! The thing is about half the size of the moon, and nobody knows what’s going to happen. All they seem to “know” is that our existence is at its end.

So, why the fuck am I sitting in my almost empty English class? I just don’t know what to do.

“You don’t have to be here, Daisy,” Mrs. Kahal said sadly. “Everybody is taking the time off to, well I don’t want to pry on other’s mourning…”

I was just as annoyed. Cindy was devastated. You could tell by her avatar, she put the overlay of a rainbow to show her support over the hysterics that centered around the school shooting last week. Her posts, empathetical bullshit. Between her support for her fellow students, Cindy was posting pictures of her vacationing in Hawaii. Tits out, basically. Cindy is a piece of shit, and if it’s any consolation, the entire student body are pieces of shit.

Marco is off dirt biking with his uncles.

Brandy is probably off blowing her uncles. Fuck her and Cindy. I hate those bitches.

“I don’t have anything to do, I’m sad. Katia is at home now, nursing her narcissism online for the world to empathize. Brandy and Cindy are off doing God knows what, and I have a dead brother. I’d rather be distracted at the moment,” I said as sincere as I could.

“That’s very adult of you, dear,” Mrs. Kahal likes me.

“I mean, I could do drugs, that’s something to do. Mrs. Kahal? Do you have anything that would make me numb to the world? Did I mention that it’s ending? The world I mean. It’s ending. For real this time.”

Mrs. Kahal laughed and said, “Don’t be so dramatic. Maybe it’s about time we enjoy ourselves for once.” Sound advice, I always thought that Mrs. Kahal had a rebellious side, and maybe it’s about goddamn time that it comes out! “How about this, we go for a walk.”

“OK.”

The breeze was so soothing even though I could feel my back tense up. The school was empty. Bullet holes lined the brick of the G building. Specifically room three. He wanted to shoot Tanya. Like, he REALLY wanted to kill that girl. He nearly got through the door with bullets. The fucking asshole.

“What’s better than this?” Mrs. Kahal asked as she raised her palms to the sky so she could bask in the sun.

“Sex?”

“Besides that.”

“Good sex?”

“Sex should always be good sex.”

“The sun does feel good though,” I said as my palms felt the vitamin D draw in. “Why is that?”

“Why is it peaceful?”

“Yeah. I get it, but I don’t.”

“Simplicity, Daisy. Simplicity is more important than you think. Look around, there’s nobody here. Teachers came in, just to get their paychecks, but that’s it. Students are gone even though there are a few of you stragglers around to keep us occupied for the time being, but can’t you see it? See the future?”

“No, what do you mean?”

“Back when we first learned of the asteroid… it was chaos. Suicides and mayhem at every corner. I just feel like that hysteria is going to return. No use for schools. Perhaps as compounds, but that’s it.”

“You’re bleak.”

“I’m telling you the truth!”

Bullshit.

“It wasn’t that bad, my Dad told me about it.”

“Well, that’s my opinion.”

“I do appreciate your candor.”

“Where’d you learn a word like that!?”

“You.”

“Good,” Mrs. Kahal smiled and took in a deep breath before she said, “Let’s go lay down in the grass.”

“Is that a euphemism for smoking weed?”

“One way to find out.”

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