A Simple Selfish Notion

Poison drizzles through the body
It’s harsh and heinous
No other way to live
No other way to die
Up the ante each and every time
Decisions sit clear in the mind
Elation diminishes to the morning
Elation escalates in the night
Nothing tracks better than the ever-growing credit
Nothing seems to comfort from my pain
Destroying the relationships I’ve established
Destroying the relations in my body
The time is perpetuating my loss
The body and soul now equal this epitome
Tired of this lifestyle
Tired of crispness otherwise
Turned up
Turned down
Lived
Died
Reason
None
Formulated discussion of a dramatic pause lies in my mind
An aria of sorts, but it bleeds instead of being an inner perception
The mind wonders, but it’s asking why it’s not twisted
Suppose my state of indecision and find my decisiveness
Crossed, dead, and malnourished.
Self-preservation is the last thing on my list
I just don’t get it
but I was never meant to
This is just a simple selfish notion.

Teetering on mindfulness and the inner hatred.