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Jeremy, Pivot: Signs

May 10, 2017

Feeling a bit underdressed, Jeremy and Lexie entered the church. That day he was wearing black jeans and a button up shirt. Lexie donned a white headband with a sunflower on it, a modest white sweater and a yellow dress. She guided him in and out of groups of old people loitering in the foyer, and then with both hands on his shoulders from behind, she quickly turned him 90 degrees down a hallway and into a room full of young kids who seemed to be just out of high school. Sadly, Lexie belonged to this group and Jeremy did not. The room was old- clearly, it had not stood the test of time very well. There were thirteen chairs in a circle, directly in the middle of the room, all leading to a couch near the far end. The couch contained 3 young men and a girl. He contemplated the fighting over the couch every Sunday, grueling. The two sit down, and Lexie said her hi’s to everybody quietly. The room itself was a ruckus. Everybody was talking, and to Jeremy, they seemed to be talking about Bullshit. The room itself was covered in posters, they seemed like cool hip posters with bands or phrases on them. However, it turned out to say things like Jesus-Freak or Testify! in a cool esoteric graffiti font. He rolled his eyes to these posters and thought, Shit.

“Ooh, Hi Lexie.” an unattractive voice rang out, like how old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years would scream out at each other, from a very attractive girl. She squeezed between the chairs that separated Lexie and Jeremy, and luckily for Jeremy, she arched her back in a way to accentuate her ass towards his face. He took a quick sniff without his head reaching forward in an attempt to grasp a keen whiff from this opportunity.

“Hey!” Lexie sounded equally excited to see this attractive girl.

“Who’s this?” the pins on a chalkboard asked with a playful gesture with her hand as she sits down next to Lexie.

“That’s Jeremy,” she said with a small bit of gushing, “We’re going out.”

“Oh really?” Pins said in a seemingly malicious way. “Well, don’t let me get in between you two!” She said as she got up. She tapped Jeremy’s knee twice as she walked away. Nobody else noticed, but to him, it seemed like she was acknowledging his grasping attempt from earlier. He stared her ass as she left, then Lexie took a shot at tapping his knee.

“I can’t stand her.” She stated quietly.

“Why?” He asked quite intrigued.

“She’s the Pastor’s kid, so she feels like she runs the place… Oh, and she’s pretty, so she acts a bit…”

Jeremy cut her off, “Bitchy?”

“Yeah,” she acknowledged the use of the word in it’s 2nd to truest form, to justify to herself the use in church. They then sat there in silence as the two watched Pins act self-entitled.

As if clockwork, everybody became situated in their seats as a large fat woman walked into the room. She smiled at everybody but seemed somewhat shocked at Jeremy’s presence. Quickly, she corrected her face as she waddled over to a folding chair. The folding chair seemed as if it wouldn’t be able to withstand her immense weight; however, it appeared to hold- for now. She began with introductions, this being a gesture for “the new guy.” As everybody introduced themselves, Jeremy stared off at the one odd poster in the room. It was a picture of a sunset with 2 hot air balloon silhouettes. Underneath the picture in bold Times New Roman font, it said. If You Believe, then You’ll Succeed!  A feeling of uneasiness developed in him, and at that second Lexie elbows him in the arm. Jostled, he quickly looked around and realized his current situation.

“OH, I’m sorry… This is just a lot, I’ve never been to church before.” He responded, and as he finished his sentence, everybody looked at Lexie with despair. As if to say, Oh, you shouldn’t date Non-believers! She crouched down into her chair, yet Jeremy was not keen on this feeling nor did he realize that it was occurring right in front of him.

“Your name?” The large woman asked as her legs start to engulf around the side of the chair cushion.

“Oh, sorry. My name is Jeremy.”

“Do you have goals? Aspirations? Why did you come to church today?” She asked half interested.

“Goals? I’m not really sure. I’ve been a bit preoccupied lately…”

“Preoccupied?” She then leaped into her lesson completely ignoring that last 3 people who still had yet to introduce themselves. “Many people are too preoccupied, I mean look at you lot right now. All of you had been on your phones at some point during our introductions.” The stout woman said with ordinance as her chair seemed to slowly want to give in to gravity, this was apparent as she seemed somewhat lower to the floor than she did before. “And who are you texting? Aren’t all your friends here? Shouldn’t all your friends be here?” She said as she feigns enthusiasm. The room felt uncomfortable. It’s apparent that most of these church people are living multiple lives. Separating their actions in two. The woman rambled on for about an hour and a half as the group listens to her incoherent rant about loving thy neighbor to putting down the phone. By the end, she was covered in sweat, and everybody felt a bit berated. Once finished, she passed out doughnuts and says, “I’ll see everybody in church.” She smiles and closes the door behind her.

Quickly, Jeremy turned to Lexie, “That wasn’t church?” He asked in a childlike voice. Lexie chuckled at his ignorance.

“That was Sunday School, there’s a pastor and the whole church thing.” she stated with a pang of sadness that it seemed arduous for him.

“Oh, sorry. I have no idea what the h…” he censored himself, “…what’s going on.” She senses his correction and kisses him on the forehead.

“C’mon. Let’s go find a place to sit so we can get this over with.” She smiled as she took her hand and extended it to him. He smiled back as his hand gripped hers. They never stated that they were together, nor had they discussed it with each other, but it was at that moment that they both knew that they were more than dating.

From → Jeremy Pivot

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