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Ordeal in the Marketplace

August 11, 2016

Lately, I have felt that my mind is going in too many different directions. Like my arms and legs are being pulled into separate directions and all I can think of is that this might feel good, despite that initial sting. I’m running to nowhere and I find myself re-living conversations. I am not crazy, just exhibiting such behavior. I don’t know if it’s my own doing or that I’ve been watching life meander. It just weens and wains until finally it weens and wains. I see this over and over by our behavior. There’s no such thing as white trash or eccentric millionaire, we’re just flesh and blood. Us and everything in between. It’s stupid to think that we’re individuals with our own ideas and our own thoughts. The fact of the matter is that we are, and I mean WE ARE, subjects to our momentary psychosis.

Ted walks into a bar and asks for a rum and coke. The bartender explains that they are not indeed a bar, but a juice bar instead and that a rum and coke would not be especially healthy. QUICKLY! Ted must order a drink. He must do so to avoid looking like an idiot. Momentarily in Ted’s mind he will choose a drink and order it. He may not feel good about his choice, but that’s his problem. Alright, so Ted just made a choice in a quick decision-making situation. We do that all the time every day, the only thing is that we aren’t as conscious of our ridiculousness. At that precise moment Ted was prepared for a rum and coke. Instead he was offered other alternatives. He quickly looked through the menu and chose as quickly as he could. Mentally he chose something that felt comforting, in actuality if he were in that same mentality and in the same situation he’d choose that same ‘whateverthefuck.’ He will always choose the same option because he is bound by his psyche and environment.

Rewind time, he chose the same option. Rewind time, and he’ll choose that option again. Wait ten years, rewind time and this fucker’ll do what you expect him to do. You think you have a choice or an ability to decide, but that’s a complete lie. We choose based on our mental psyche at that moment and environment. We’re not pawns nor rooks. We’re just people on a rock that’s orbiting a burning source of energy that will inevitably destroy us. So, smoke up Johnny! What you thought that matters will be ash soon. Enjoy your smoothy.

WAIT! I’m not done yet. We aren’t anything. Look at yourself. Your hands. Ew, your hands… What are you? Your mind? Your physical actions? A ph balance can fuck up a human’s actions. We’re stuck to our chemical balance or imbalance. A psyche is just that and our chemical balance just might affect that there psyche. It’s what you eat, drink or breathe. So, who’s to say you choose anything? Who’s to say that we are what we are? We’re just witness to our atrocities, whether you want to see such things or not. Now, really. Enjoy that smoothy.

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